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Did You Ever Asked Yourself: Why Does This Happen To Me?

Episode 3: ex-NBA player Juaquin Hawkins

Everyday people pushed to extraordinary limits. This is Breakthrough with Tony Robbins, episode 3: Juaquin and Kim Hawkins.

What an inspiring story. The first episode since the beginning of the season where I could really feel the profound desire of a family united for change. Life is such a long journey of humility and I am sure many people who will watch or have watched this story can relate to it. We probably all experienced that situation where our life out of a sudden flip upside down and we don’t know what to do. As time goes by, we see ourselves becoming miserable, blaming others and ask ourselves or to God: Why me?  Why does this happens to me?

Juanquin loves basketball and has been playing basketball since he was nine years old. As an international professional basketball player, he used to play in China, Australia, and even played for the Rockets. In fact, he played all over the world until one day, he career ended at 24 years old. From that moment, everything falls apart: family life, dreams, wonderful trips. Yet, the bills start to accumulate and create a situation where he can’t look in the eyes of  his wife or three wonderful daughters. But still, instead of taking actions, Juaquin still sits on sofa when the family is struggling, blaming his former Coach from Australia for what happened to him.

Fortunately, Tony Robbins reached out to them and embark the family in a journey to experience a breakthrough. Through that journey, 8 steps will be followed for Juaquin to regain his life. This is the story of Juaquin and Kim Hawkins and this can be your story too, or the story of someone you know or will come across. Spread out the words, here are the 8 steps to follow when you catch yourself saying: “why does this happens to me?”

To watch the full episode from hulu, you can simply click on the image above but to give you an idea here is a part:

Here are the steps to follow:

  • Step 1: Change you environment. After watching the first three episode of the season, I noticed Tony as the first step to turn someone life around always recommends to first change the environment. In fact, the atmosphere you live in, the environment you are surrounded with, played a key role on how you feel and even have an impact on how you think. That’s why as a first when you want to get everything back you have to go the kind of environment that will inspire you and where you will feel peaceful.
  • Step 2: Confront your real issues. Confronting the real issues is kind of like accepting the situation you are facing by recognizing that in fact there is a problem and by determining what the problem really is. There are different ways to find that out. One way is to ask your partner, significant other, or anyone who is deeply affected by your situation to tell you what is wrong. Or, another way to confront the real issue is stepping out of your shoes and describe the person whose situation has to be changed. An easy way to do that is to go the mirror and tell what you see. This is a pretty difficult task to do especially if you have to do that in front of the people love and cherish. The toughness behind it is that by doing so, you get yourself naked and the pain comes from noticing that you are not what you reflect to be, you are not where you wanted to be, you face your limitations, but more important, it reveals that you haven’t done anything to take control of the situation and because of that laziness you let everyone down.
  • Step 3: Embrace your strengths. When you describe the person you see the mirror as stated above, usually people forget to count their blessing and just see their limitations and failures. In this third step, you want to start regaining confidence of what you are really capable. You want to recall what you are made of, what you believe in, what you have already accomplished and that are like your standards. Think about the dreams you always dreamed to accomplish. This about your Faith. Think about the people you have there around you that support you: your wife, kids, relatives. Think about your previous experiences and skills you learned from it. Those are what define your strengths and those are the strengths you need to embrace to get your life back up in a good shape.
  • Step 4: Change your perspective. You start changing your perspective when you can get yourself  out of your comfort zone and commit yourself to do whatever it will take not to give up until you gain the right to go back to that comfort zone. Your comfort zone is usually your house, your office, any places you feel safe and you are used to. To change your perspective you have to go and experience a whole different life style and do things that you do not enjoy doing, live in place you do not enjoy enjoy living in. I can be as easy as taking the stairs, do some volunteer work, reach out for people whose situation is worse than yours. You have to be willing to things that do not want to do and do not enjoy doing.
  • Step 5: Let go off the past. You can’t move forward if you still have strong attach with your past.
  • Step 6: Own your truth. Your truth will set you free. The father of my best friend said: the only way to keep track of what you said by saying the truth all the time. When people face situations where your lifestyle get affected, they tend to hide to friends and relatives and pretend that everything is alright. That lie however is an obstacle for them to take necessary actions to turn the situation around and get themselves out of the hole they are in. By owning your truth, you get together with those relatives you’ve been acting to and you tell them the truth of what you’ve been going through. By doing so, it will pull out a weight from your shoulder and you will more support coming your way.
  • Step 7: Design a compelling future. What are you ready to do, what actions are you ready to take, what job are you ready to jump on, to show that you want to move on, take back the control of your life, and charge forward to turn your life around? If working for waste management was the job to take, would take it? If working at a restaurant was the job to take, would you take it? If street cleaner was the job to  take, would you take it? You can tell, life is such a journey of humility, but success is not defined by what others says or feel about you, success is about how you define it yourself, with your own words, and how you take care of your family.
  • Step 8: Own your breakthrough. Gather friends and relative and your place, share the journey you’ve been through, the lessons it taught you, and the person you became thanks to that.

This is how an ex-NBA player who gave up to his life and family got back the control of his life, the respect of his wife, and the love of his children. If he did it, you also can, your relatives can, and your friend in need also can. Spread out the words, share the post, and let’s change life in a good way.

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One thought on “Did You Ever Asked Yourself: Why Does This Happen To Me?

  1. Max— these are exciting messages… Thanks for sharing… All the points above are really helpful and personally I like point #3 on counting our blessings… I think we’ll be happier if we learn to “magnify our blessings instead of our problems.” We sometimes tend to focus too much on our problems instead of magnifying the good things we have starting with our good health… Nice post and yep, #6: truth sets free…

    Posted by Sandro | August 29, 2010, 12:57 pm

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